I nearly died one day last week. It had to be Tuesday or Wednesday, not sure of the day. As most of you know we live just off of Cleaton Road, which is a little crooked, no line road. I am now driving the Accord which is quite a bit smaller than the Tahoe and, at times, I don't feel as safe as I did in my big vehicle. So....I was on my way to work, applying my lip gloss(because all us girls know that this is one of the MOST important parts of the makeup system). So popped over a little hill, that is blind, to a GIANT Chevy SIlverado, jacked up, four wheel drive, IN MY LANE!!!! He was passing a little car in the size range of mine, ON A Blind hill!!!! Luckily, he had just enough time to jerk his vehicle back in behind the other car, although by nearly taking them out also, because he was passing!!! So......
This morning he just happened to get behind me on my way home from dropping Buzzy off. He goes by the office several times a day, because I have kept an eye out for him. Big Redneck truck with a big ol' deer sticker on the back window. Can't be missed. Anyway.. I was zipping along Cleaton road at about 60 until I realized it was HIM behind me. Slowed to 50, which is a reasonable speed for most sane humans. Not me, the grouchy, moody, revenge seeking pregnant woman. So as we approach the spot where he can pass, I move over into the center of the road. He nicely speeds up and moves over to pass me. Only no, he won't be passing the slow little silver car this morning. As I move into the opposite lane, it hits him, he's getting blocked. He tries again, I go farther over. Only took two times for this smart feller (or as Stevie would call him, fart smeller). He fell back from my bumper and road along. I slowed to turn into my drive, he rolls down his window, to show me his middle finger, so I show him mine!! Yes, I know my CHristian friends, this was not very Christian like, but he nearly killed me a few days ago, and I will ask forgiveness for my behavior. I am so thankful that I watched Talladega Nights and closely watch my husband week in and week out at the race track to learn true blocking skills!! Just call me Leslie-Stevie, instead of Ricky-Bobby! Steve better watch out. I might just fix his new car for myself. Show those boys how to really drive.
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4 comments:
That's so funny,and yes, this Christian friend will turn a blind eye...I have the worst road rage!
SO is this your first day of thankfulness? The fact that your not dead or that you able to teach this fart smeller a lesson? haha
You crack me up girl! I am proud of you, I tend to have road rage too! Be careful.
You better be careful, you now have two little ones that need a mommy. I am always a lot more of a aggressive driver when I pregnant or have the kids in the car with me. You will have to ask Beau about all the parking lot rage at the local Mcdonalds. Pregnancy brings it out in you.
Girl - U crack me up! U revenge seeking pregnant woman! Dem 'ol redneck deer seeking punks need to watch who they mess with - they never know when the lady behind the wheel in the little accord may be pregnant and rage-filled!
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